Happy Pride Month

Pride month. A time for celebration in the LGBTQ Community. A time set aside to remember those who came before us and made this all possible, but a time to also be present and celebrate our existence with one another. But I feel we should also look at the struggles we are still facing, especially this pride.

Not to be Deborah Downer

I have waited till the back end of Pride were as to not bring down the party, as if many people actually read these words, but we are living in unprecedented times. I was watching Leija Miller’s Why I left the US and it got me to thinking about how LGBTQ people in this country are truly disadvantaged in the whole being able to escape the incoming threats.

Most LGBTQ people, like myself, are low-income. Most of us live pay check to pay check and don’t have savings accounts let alone possess a passport. The ability to leave this country for safer havens elsewhere is a dream many of us can not achieve. What was told to many of us is find safety in Blue States. And for a while that truly seemed to be something we could do. But this past year has shattered that illusion.

Ms Miller lived in Minneapolis Minnesota. A fantastic city in a fantastic state. I grew up as you know 2 hours south of Minneapolis across the border in Northern Iowa. As a child my XLH was treated in Minneapolis at the Shriners Hospital there. I loved going to the Mall of America after my appointments and getting to shop at the most fantastic mall in existence. My first pride parade I ever attended was in Minneapolis in 2008. I love that town, and truly the state as a whole. But then this year rolled around and showed us that no one is safe from this government, even in heavy blue sanctuaries.

So what do we do?

This is the million dollar question. And I am far too ignorant to have an answer that will please everyone. I know that above all else, we must stick together as a community. Communication is key. But here is where I will lose a lot of people in the community. But I am only speaking for myself in what I am planning to do for myself.

In many aspects I have gone back into the closet. Not out of shame, but out of necessity. I live in a place that is actively hostile to the community. And I don’t mean furrowed brows and judgmental glances. I mean people have actually come to harm. Irreversible physical harm. At the end of the day, my life and my husbands life outweighs everything else. So for a time if I have to go back in the closet so be it. I still have my community online. Friends I speak with regularly and my family which supports me.

I am the first to acknowledge this is not the most ideal way to handle it perhaps. I know some in the community are bristling at the mere suggestion. But this was my personal choice and for me, it will have to work. I don’t have the luxury of relocating. Although I wish I did. In addition to being a member of the community, I am disabled. Where I live is actively hostile to us as well. But poverty truly is many peoples prisons. If I could afford to move back up north to any number of safer options, G-d knows I would. But I can’t. So this is as good an alternative as I can muster.

But ultimately, you have to do what is right for you. And my hope and my prayer is that we all make it through this time as unscathed as we can. That we don’t lose ourselves through this process. And yes, this month should be a time of celebration, we should not neglect to reflect on our past, and prepare for our future, even if those things may not be as entertaining.